B.S. US abbr. Bullshit.
baby bullets euph.See baby gravy.
baby gravy euph. Semen; smegma. Also baby boullion.
baby's arm n. (~holding an apple). Descriptive of a substantial penis, ie 10 inches long with a bend in the middle. Sometimes covered in jam.
Baccus Marsh n. A dobber. From the spongy area halfway between Ballerat and Melbourne (qv).
back one out v. The act of reverse parking your breakfast, usually involving much looking over the shoulder, sweating and grunting.
bacon bazooka euph. Penis; pork sword; the pink oboe (qv)
bacon strips n. Female external genitalia, presumably with the word 'DANISH' printed on in blue ink; a ragman's coat (qv).
badger loose euph. An R.A.F. issue air biscuit. "'I say, Ginger' cautioned Biggles. 'I think number two engine is on fire.' 'No, that's me,' confessed Algie. 'I've just let a badger loose.'" (from 'Biggles Folllows Through' by Capt. W.E. Johns).
bag ladies' period n. Superlative of foul tasting.
baibhe (bye-b) Gaelic n. A rough old slapper; a boot (qv).
bairn brine n. baby gravy.
baking one v. The act of not going for a shit when you really ought to.
bald man in a boat euph. Vagina; hairy pie (qv).
Ballerat Aus. n. A fully erect penis. As in "How are you gettin' on Bruce?" "Bleedin' marvellous Sheila. I'm nearly at Ballerat". See also Lake Wendouree.
ball buster n. Sexually aggressive female; cock chomper.
bally heck exclmn. arch. Wartime form of 'bloody hell' when swearing was rationed. Strong expletives were reserved for soldiers on the front line.
bang v. To have sex; to shag. e.g. 'We were banging, like a shite house (qv) door in the wind". n. A sexual encounter; a shag.
banjo n. On the penis, that thin ridge of skin connecting the polo neck to the bobby's helmet (qv).
bannocks interj. Scotch equivalent of bollocks. n. Jockspeak for knackers; plums (qv).
banty n. One who nods at stoats.
baps (baaah-ps) n. Ireland Breasts. e.g. "Phoaar! Will yer just look at the baps on that?'
barber's pole n. Result of parting the whiskers (qv) while the painters are in.
Barclays rhym. slang A wank; five knuckle shuffle; hand shandy (qv). Barclays bank - wank.
barf v. To vomit; puke; bowk.
bargain bucket n. An overemployed and over-stretched fanny.
barge-arse n. A woman of rotund posterior aspect.
bark at the ants v. to yoff (qv). See stripey laugh.
barker's egg n. Poodle shit. A dog turd so old it has gone white.
barking spider n. Ringpiece; anus; chocolate starfish (qv).
Barnes Wallace n. The type of turd released from the bomb bay that sends a splash of water onto your undercarriage.
barse n. The perineum; that little bit between your balls and your arse.
bash-the-bishop euph. To masturbate; toss; bank with Barclays (qv).
bazookas n. A pair of big tits; whoppers.
beaded curtain n. A luxuriant crop of tagnuts.
bean flicker n. Lesbian.
beard n. A woman married to a gay man in order to conceal his homosexuality. As in: "Do you reckon that Sophie's a beard then, or what?" See also whiff of lavender, frock.
bear trappers hat sim. Hairy front bottom. As in "She had a fanny like a bear trapper's hat". Also Davy Crockett's hat.
bearded clam Aus. attr. Barry Humphries Vagina; fanny.
beast with two backs n. A strange grunting animal with 2 heads and 4 legs, commonly found in bus shelters after midnight.
beat-the-meat euph.To avail oneself of a ham shank, perform the five-knuckle-shuffle (qv).
beaver cleaver n. Male weapon used in axe wounds.
Becksfart n. Brand-specific lager hangover flatulence. Has an aroma a bit like egg mayonaisse.
bed flute n. Musical variation on the pink oboe (qv).
beef bayonet euph. Penis; cock, pork sword; love torpedo.
beef box n. A container into which sausages are put.
beef curtains euph. Labia.
beer scooter n. Miraculous method of transport employed when leaving the pub after drinking large amounts of beer. So called due to the 'lost time' affect when returning home seemingly in no time and at incredible velocity.
beetle bonnet euph. Female pubic mound, esp. shaven. From the popular VW car.
Belgian biscuit n. A vile and non specific sex act performed by the staff of a rub-a-tug shop (qv). As in 'How much? Fifty quid, eh? Does that include Belgian biscuit?"
Belisha beacon n. Flashing orange globe on a black and white pole, named after the Transport Minister in 1934.
bell end euph.The glans of the penis; purple helmet (qv).
bell-swagged a. To be endowed with a large bell end on a contrastingly small stem or shaft.
bell tower n. Knob shaft; Bean stalk.
bell wringing v. A harmless pastime that builds up the arm muscles, popular with monks for the last 2000 years.
bender n. 1. Drinking spree; Leo Sayer (qv). 2. A queer fella. See gender bender.
Benny Hill rhym. slang. A form of contraception. "'It's nothing to do with me, Mrs. Gamp. You told me you was on the Benny Hill." (from 'Nicolas Nickleby' by Charles Dickens).
Bermuda triangle n. A mysterious area where skin boats full of semen seem to disappear.
berry n. A sexual deviant; kinky person; one who shags animals.
bespectacle adj. Respectable in glasses.
biffer n. A particulary hairy minge. As in "Gaw, you've got a right old biffer on you there, Your Majesty."
biffin n. Sweat secreted in the biffin bridge (qv) area during intercourse.
biffin bridge n. See barse.
biffon n. That part of the female anatomy between the bottom and the vagina, which the man's balls biff on during intercourse.
Big Ben 1. n. A large bell in St. Steven's Tower, London. 2. euph. An enormous erection, possibly with Robert Powell hanging off it.
bikini burger n. See hairy pie.
Bilge tanks n. The 'double gut' effect caused by an overly-tight belt on an overly-large belly. eg. Simon Bates.
bills n. Shreddies. See dung-hampers.
Billy Mill roundabout n. The climactic point of masturbation. From the A1058 Coast Road in Newcastle. e.g. "MY mum walked in just as I was coming up to the Billy Mill roundabout". See also vinegar strokes (qv).
Billy Wright Famous Everton footballer, latterly rhyming slang for shite.
bint n. Derogatory term for a silly old slapper; a bird; bit of fluff.
biscuits n. The contents of the stomach after a heavy night`s drinking. As in "Get me a bucket, quick, I'm gonna chuck me biscuits".
bishop rage n. To spank your monkey with such vigour as to appear to have flown into a rage. Very popular with popes.
blaaters n. see oomlaaters.
Blanket Welder n. A gentleman who partakes in the activity of blanket welding using sticky adhesive male substances, ie one who clears the custard in the farting sack. A wanker.
blart n. Female vagina. Also collective n. Women; totty (qv). e.g. 'Golly gosh! This pub is heaving with blart".
blart attack n. A strange feeling upon finding oneself surrounded by a large amount of quality totty, starting in the pills and spreading down the right arm, accompanied by a racing pulse. Also acute vangina.
bliff n. Minge; front bottom.
bliff mag n. Pornographic magazine; jazz mag (qv); art pamphlet.
blind dirt snake n. A maladorous, legless lizard inhabiting Cak Canyon, which migrates south every morning. Richard the Third.
blob n. Condom; rubber; rubber Johnny (qv).
blow mud v. To noisily expel a loose stool; crop spray (qv).
blow sisters n. Lesbian nuns, often seen in candle shops.
blue-veined custard chucker n. Penis. Also blue veined piccolo, blue veined Havana.
bobby's helmet n. Bell end. From the distinctive shape of the British police constable's hat.
boff v. To fuck (qv).
boh exclmn. The noise made by a man after a particularly heavy woman has bounced up too far and sat down hard on his gut-stick, breaking it in two. Reportedly Prince Albert's last word.
boiler n. An ugly woman one would prefer not to service.
bollocks n. 1. Nonsense; balls, as in: 'That's utter bollocks". 2. Knackers; balls, as in: 'Them's massive bollocks".
Bombay roll n. Like a sausage roll, but with tits instead of pastry and a cock instead of a sausage. And it costs £25 instead of 30p.
bomb bay n. The arse; the area of one's body towards which the rear gunner (qv) is attracted.
Bomb bay mix n. A single lavatorial sitting that produces a pot-pouri of stool consistency from copper bolts to a rusty water geyser and all points in between. Shitterish allsorts, variety cack.
boner US n. An erection; stiffy.
bonk v. To boff (qv).
bonk-on n. Erection, as in: `A copy of Fiesta and a box of tissues please, Mr Newsagent. I've got a right big bonk on".
Boot n. Can. A woman who is too easy to shag.
Boris n. used by females: Vagina.
bosch v. To drill a hole between cubicles in a public lavatory for the purpose of spying on, or making your cock available to, your neighbour (for example, the future Bishop of Durham).
bott v. A sex act performed by botters (qv).
bottee n. One who is botted by a botter.
botter (bot-ah) n. He who botts.
bottom log n. A scuttled dreadnought (qv) that hits the sea bed whilst still exiting the windward passage.
Bourneville Boulevard euph. Arse; fudge tunnel. Used to denote homosexuality, as in: 'I believe he strolls down the Bourneville Boulevard".
Bovril bullets n. Stools; excrement.
bowk v. To barf, vomit; boy up; create a pavement pizza (qv).
Bowling from the Pavilion end euph. Botting (qv).
box of assorted-creams Aus. n. A sexually promiscuous female, as in: `Watch yourself there Bruce, that one's a right Box of Assorted Creams".
box n. 1. Vagina. As in: "Look at that lovely little box". 2. In cricket, a gentleman's protective device worn around the undercarriage (qv). As in: "Eeeeargh! I wish I'd worn a box".
Brad rhym. slang. A dump. As is "Give me the paper, will you I'm off for a Brad Pitt."
breast fest n. The summer months during which women sunbathe topless.
brice v. Victorian. To engage in a sexual act in which one party is tied to a large stake known as the bricing post (qv).
bricing post n. Stake to which someone is tied, who is to be briced.
bridger n. See bottom log.
brim n. The skirting around the base of one's helmet (qv).
bring off v. To cause to have an orgasm.
Bristols ryhm. slang Tits. From Bristol Citys - titties.
brown bear's nose n. A cute little round turd that hibernates at the bottom of the lavatory and refuses to move.
brown bullet-hole euph. Bumhole; barking spider (qv).
brown daisy n. An unpleasantly scented flower which attracts flies instead of bees. A bronze eye.
brown hatter n. One who bowls from the Pavilion end (qv) and in so doing tarnishes his bobby's helmet (qv).
brown jewels n. The Queens winnit's; the dangleberries of state.
brown lilo n. A buoyant Tom Tit that, left alone , will eventually make it's way out to sea.
brown sword n. See banjo.
brown trout n. A shite.
brown pipe engineer n. A plumber who comes in the tradesman's entrance.
brown wings n. The honour bestowed on a man after he has completed a successful spell of bowling from the Pavilion end (qv).
Bruce Lees n. Hard nips.
BSH abbr. British Standard Handful. The unit by which breasts are often measured.
bubbies n. Coy term for breasts, much beloved of writers of cod-Victorian pornography. "'Ooh, zur! What does you think of moi bubbies, then?' asked Molli the Milkmaid, as she unzipped the Squire's heaving breeches." (from 'A Roll in the Hay' by Jeffrey Archer).
bubble poo n. See fizzy gravy.
bucket fanny n. A spacious vagina. Also Tardis fanny / twat.
budgie's tongue n. Descriptive of the female erictile bit, particularly when her fanny has climbed up a little plasic ladder to ring a bell.
buffing v. Gusset typing. The act of female masturbation.
buffty Scotch n. A gay man.
build a log cabin euph. To pass an enormous, solid stool. As in: 'I wouldn't go in there mate Someone's just built a log cabin"
bulldog eating porridge euph. The vagina in the aftermath of sex. From Shakespear's Henry IV. "Lo, I see my ladies' bulldog hath been eating porridge again".
bullshat v. Past tense of bullshit. As in 'Me liar, he bullshat me.
bum bandit n. A robber, outlaw or highwayman, who steals people's bottoms.
bum chain n. A rather intimate version of the Conga danced by those on the other bus (qv).
bum cigar n. In after dinner conversation, a stool. "Well, if you'll excuse me I think I'll nip upstairs and light a bum cigar".
bum goblin n. A gnarled, malaevolent turd that jumps out from behind you, causing a painful spell on your ringpiece.
bumpies rhym. slang. Fun bags. From bumpy bits - tits.
bunk up n. 1. Bonk; shag, As in: 'Darling, you look beautiful tonight. Any chance of a bunk up?" 2. Assistance climbing, as in: "Shit. I'm so pissed I can't get onto the bed. Giz a bunk up will ya?"
Bunker BusterNEW n. 1. An exceedingly large turd that feels like, if dropped from a great height could break through 20 metres of re-enforced concrete. 2. American bomb used to root out turds.
bunny rub n. A tit wank. See Bombay roll.
Burma exclm. Acronym used on military correspondence - Be Upstairs Ready My Angel. See also Norwich, Polo.
burp the worm See bash-the-bishop.
bury a quaker euph. To release a payload from the bomb bay (qv).
bury the hobbit v. To lose Bilbo Bellend in the wizard's sleeve (qv).
bush pig n. A slightly more polite term for a swamp hog (qv).
butt plug n. A medical appliance used to prevent water from the bath going up your arse.
B.V.H. abbr. Blue Veined Hooligan. A six inch tall, one-eyed, skinhead.
Byker tea cake n. Glasgow kiss. A head butt.