haddock pastie See hairy cheque book.
hair burst NEW n, Premature Ejaculation. When one cant wait and blows his load far too early.
hairy cheque book See hairy cup.
hairy cup See hairy doughnut.
hairy doughnut See hairy goblet.
hairy goblet See hairy lasso.
hairy lasso See hairy pie.
hairy pie n. A kipper; Velcro triangle (qv).
hairy scallops n. The furry shellfish eaten when bearded clams are out of season.
hairy toffee n. Dangleberries (qv); Kling-ons (qv).
half leapfrog v. To have sex in the doggies (qv) position.
ham howitzer n. A military weapon descended from the pork sword (qv).
ham shank rhyming slang for a Barclays (qv).
ham-on-ham n. The delightful sight of two ladies going at it hammer and tongues.
hamburger shot n. A rear view in a pornographic magazine in which the beef curtains (qv) are visible.
Hampton rhyming slang Penis. Hampton Wick - dick. Also to get your Hampton Court - an accident involving a zip.
hand in the fish bowlNEW n, Getting all fishy or feeding the pony.
hand shandy n. See ham shank.
hand solo n. A solitary hand shandy (qv).
hand-to-gland combat euph. A three-minute, one-man bout of gladitorial combat involving a spam javelin.
hang your hole v. To moon (qv).
hanging salad euph. Wedding tackle (qv).
happy lamp n. Sixth gear stick. As in: "I'm homy. Think I'll give my happy lamp a quick buff.
happy sack euph. Scrotum; scrots; nads.
Happy Shopper 1. n. prop. A cheap'n'cheerless grocery brand. 2. n. A bisexual - one who shops on both sides of the street.
harbour-master n. A stickman (qv). One who has piloted the course of a few tug boats in his time.
hard on n. Wood; a bone.
harvest festivals 1. euph. One-night stands. ie. one 'who ploughs the field and scatters. 2. n. A pair of well-fitting but comfortable pants, where 'all is safely gathered in.'
Hawaiian muscle fuck n. The act of bagpiping.
head lamps n. Bristols (qv). As in: "Phewf! I wouldn't mind giving her head lamps a rub".
heave a Havana polite euph. Take a dump See also bum cigar.
hedgehog n. A fanny shaved five days ago.
hee 1. Thai n. Minge; hairy cheque book. 2. interj. One of several noises made by laughing gnomes.
hefty-clefty adj. A welly-top; a horse's collar. Descriptive of a very wide Mary.
helmet See bobby's helmet.
Herbie's bonnet See Beetle bonnet.
Hershey highway US euph. See Cadbury Alley et all.
hide the salami euph. A game for two players, one sausage and a hairy pie (qv).
ho' abbr. Whore. A familiar name given to their charges by pimps in floppy hats, fur coats and pink Cadillacs. As in: "Yo! Ho', shake that ass".
hobgoblin n. See bum goblin.
hole in one euph. Successful penetrative sex without using the hand for guidance.
honey alter n. See honey pot.
honey pot See hairy cheque book.
hoop stretcher n. In kitchens, one who hides the salami (qv) in the tea towel holder (qv).
horatio n. Posh Latin term used by doctors for oral sex on a man.
hornbag n. An extremely attractive woman, ie one who gives you the horn.
horndog n. An extremely unattractive woman, ie. one who loses you the horn.
horse eating oats sim. See feeding the pony. "And David went unto the house of Bathsheba and she had not known her husband Naboth for ages. And David did put his hand down her knickers and lo, it was like a horse eating oats." (Deuteronomy Ch. 6, v 23)
hosebag n. A woman of loose morals. She of bucket fanny (qv).
horizontal jogging euph. Sexual intercourse.
horse's handbrake n. A diamond cutter (qv); a raging bonk-on.
hose monster n. A woman who cannot get enough hosepipes.
hot dog n. An egg delicacy -something of an acquired taste -famously enjoyed by the gay cult actor Divine. v. To eat said morsel, freshly laid.
hot hello n. The warm trickle down the leg that reminds a lady of the recent deposit made into her special bank.
hot karl n. Post-anal sex fellatio. E.S.D.
Howard's Way rhyming slang Homosexual. From the shit BBC TV drama Howard's Way - gay.
how's your father n. Sex. Usually prefixed with ahem. As in 'Fancy a quick bit of.. ahem... how's your father?"
huby n. A dobber; a semi-on.
hump v. 1. To shag; have sex with. 2. To carry heavy amplification equipment to and from a live music venue.
hung like a humming bird n. to have a gut-stick like a Chinese mouse.
hungry arse n. The condition afflicting women in tight jeans whereby a crease in their pants appears to disappear up the crack of their arse.
hymen climbin' v. To be the first man to plant his flag up Mt. Venus.