walnut n. Gland up the male arse which causes immediate ejaculation when poked.
walnut manouvre n. The mythical method by which good looking nurses are trained to poke your walnut (qv) in order to obtain a sperm sample.
walnut whip rhym. slang. A minor operation which removes the cream, but leaves the nuts intact. The snip.
wank 1. n. Rubbish; nonsense. "That is a load of wank". 2. n. Masturbation. "That was a dead good wank". 3. v. To masturbate. "I really enjoy wanking".
wanker n. 1. He who wanks. 2. A fellow road user; a motorist at whom one waves. As in: "Yeah... and you too, you wanker".
wankily adj. Badly; sub standard. "He did that really wankily".
wank sock n. A sock used in wanking. Possibly tied to a bed post and designed to indicate when wind conditions are suitable for masturbation.
wanking spanners n. Hands.
wap-waps n. Breasts. Also dedoo-wap-waps.
waz v. variously To piss; to puke; to wank.
wazzed adj. To be pissed, puked or wanked, presumably.
wear the beard v. To perform oral sex on a woman. Of lesbians, the stone (qv). As in: "You can tell she wears the beard". Not to be confused with beard (qv).
wedding tackle n. The male genitalia.
wedge v. To pull another's underpants up the crack of their arse. n. A wedgie.
welly top n. A term used to describe the vagina. "She had a fanny like a welly top".
wet as an otter's pocket sim. Descriptive of the moistness of an object, eg. a face flannel, a raincoat, a frothing gash.
whanger n. Large penis. As in: "My, that's a fair whanger you have in your pants".
wheek v. Scotch. To remove shit from an aeroplane toilet.
wheel tapping at the Bourneville factory euph. Dabbling in homosexual practices; the apprenticeship served prior to qualifying as a fully fledged coco shunter (qv).
whidgey n. Eire Front bottom.
whiff of lavender euph. Suspicion of a beard (qv) bride. As in: "I don't know about Edward. There's a whiff of lavender about that marriage".
white mouse n. Tampon.
Whitehouse cigar n. To offer someone a puff on your pink panatella (qv). A smoke on a white owl, a blowjob.
whitewater wristing euph. To pull your pud; masturbate.
white wee wee n. Planet Skaros Dalek term for semen.
willnots n. Tagnuts; dangleberries. Arse fudge entwined in the kak canyon foliage which simply will not come off.
Willy Woofter rhym. slang Poofter.
wind jammer n. A brownpipe engineer (qv) who leaves his tool in the wind pipe.
winky 1. n. A baby's cock. 2. adj. Having a tendency to wink.
winkybag 1. n. A baby's scrotum. 2. n. An ugly woman who winks a lot.
winnie n. Lesbian; she who licks the honey pot.
winnit n. Kling-on; dangleberry (qv); brown room hangers on.
wizard's hats n. See dunce's hats.
wizard's sleeve n. Clown's pocket. A particularly capacious sausage wallet. As in, 'I can't feel a bloody thing. You must have a fanny like a wizard's sleeve."
wobbly landing n. Trying, when drunk, to moor your under-inflated zipper zeppelin into your wife's hairy hanger.
wolfbagging v. To have sex with a wolf inside a, large bag.
woman in comfortable shoes n. A tennis fan (qv).
wood n. Erectness of the cock. "I have got wood".
woody n. An erection.
wuffle nuts n. The fruits of the dangleberry tree.